So I may end up buying myself one of these in a couple of months..... a 72 Volkswagen fastback. It's my old roomie Travis'es car....or more like, a car he bought 3 years ago that I have been envious of since then. It's been living at Captain frank's house since then. Now travis has his third broken bone and no money. The other day I asked about the car as I saw it lovingly resting between the GMC flatbed pickup and the Judy the sailboat in franks yard, and frank told me I should buy her. I think i'll call her Olga. or Ingrid. or maybe it's a boy, and His name is Holgar. my brother gave her the once over today, and said it was in exellent condition, exept that he wouldn't trust it as far as he could throw it until we can take her for a test drive. I have always a classic car, I can't associate myself wwiht new cars, I don't like em. I mean, SHe's going to be a pain in the butt, but what a sexy pain. oh sexy little classic car, I will be the hippest hipster in hipsterville vancouver with this number. and the hippest hippy with my hippymobile hipping it to hip events in the Downtown east side so skidders can steal my cool VW hubcaps.

Yay It's snowing in vancouver!! maybe that is why I managed to waste so much time this morning being dreamy and whatnot. I woke up around 9 this morning..then colin and I had to stay snuggly under the blankies for hours watching big flakes of snow land on the worm compost bin outside on our fire escape. I love my fire escape, it's this saggy rotten wood balocony thing outside my bedroom window. I also love my worm composter, even though rats have discovered it and spread rotting vegetables all over the fire escape now. I got out of bed at 10:30 or 11, then we went out for breakfast...it is three now...so I must have been dicking around on the internet for an hour or so at least....maybe 2 hours. oh my god. I am so glad I don't have any school tommorow. oh my god what am I going to do? ARGGGGHHH!!!! ARRGHH!!!
on a lighter note, now that I have pissed away my morning,....while I was pissing it away enjoying my cozy bed, I had this really gothic dream, that my brother Brian had dug out this warren for my guinea pigs in my parents back yard, where they had these dirt tunnels and little caves all in this sandy bank...one of the tunnels came out inside our old playhouse that's full of rats now, (and also the head from the giant rabbit sculpture I made in 3rd year at emily carr). you could open the door on theplay house, and Hedwig and Billy were playing in there. I was worried that the pigs would escape and get lost because there was only about 5 cm of chicken wire as a fence around the warren....then I noticed we had one of those wire fences across the back of the yard, like the fences you would use to keep deer off your property.....but there was a brown hare stuck in the fence! I ran up to the bunny and it was all emaciated and dying, but still alive, and I was so sad, the poor bunny was stuck on the fence with a long wire stuck through his mouth like a fish hook. I tried to pull the bunny away from the fence, but the wires were so tight around his neck that I was worried I would choke it trying to pull it out...I managed to extract this wire that was about 5 inches long from inside it's mouth, and gently pulled the bunny away from the fence. "the bunny I have to take it to the vet!!" I screamed to brian. it was huge and heavy pale brown hare, all grizzled. I had a black and red tool box, so I put the bunny in there to take it to the vet, and I felt the bunny was safe in the box, I was happy because I felt that the bunny could get better just by feeling secure inside the tool box. I woke up before I could go to the vet. I felt so intensly that I needed to take he bunny to the vet that I tried to go back to sleep and take it there....maybe that is why I slept so late.
I got up and petted my guinea pigs. that dream was sad but not as sad as the one where I was choking a white weasle to death in my mom's back yard. I have a lot of traumatic dreams about animals in that yard. what the hell. I wonder what freud would say?
okay now I am going to unplug the internet...I swear. I'm doing it.

So today I was making one of many cups of tea to fuel my typing binge....and I saw the following little fellow poke his nose out of the element of my stove. little brownie the mousie. right beside me. he came up and snacked on bits of chili stuck to my stove top. I felt like a true graduate student then, with the vermin snacking on my filthy stove top as I lived off nothing but tea and chili. fortunately I had my trusty camera handy and managed to snap this picture of her. if you look carefully into the depths of my stove you can see her little eyes shining out among the charred rigatoni.

work work work work work

so I have a goal to finish one whole essay tonight so I can start, and complete the other essay ( the not so hard one) tommorow night. they are both due on friday. then I can start to think about the unit plan I also have to do for next week. Im thinking anime....a whole unit based on anime and manga, and I could get colin to come in and teach the kids animation.....we could make zotropes of inuyasha or somthing. my ubc group has often complained that that's all the kids are drawing these days is anime,...even when they're doing something like life drawing. I should tell them stories about back in the day in the 1980s when only total social reject geeks liked anime. I remember when I was between the ages of 8 and 10 my geeky bro and his ubergeek pal watched AKIRA in our livingroom late at night...I watched it with them and it freakin' scared me to death, when tetsuo expaned into that lumpy organ baby thing...*shudder*. they were hip, akira is like, ...the consumate anime. I wish I could show it in the class...to show some quality shit. maybe I could just bring in clippings from my collection of akira books. not the real books...I have 6 and they were 50-80 dollarrs apeice. I iwish I had ten seconds to clean my floors instead of wasting time doing this.

as I am trying to finish up a paper...and so desperatly suffering with my ADD that I must do every conceivable distracting, procrastinating thing I can, in order to finally buckle down and type up those last irritating points. the funny part is I am not doing this all at the last second like I used too. and it's only 6:30 PM....it's kind of funny. still, I feel shitty. I want to do halfway decent in this program. Oh, essay writing, the most hideous form of torture I can imagine, except for maybe playing volleyball. I even went so far tonight, as to forgo attending Curse of the Were Rabbit with colin....he really wanted to go, and I dicked around all afternoon so I knew if I went, I would be working on the thing at 10 tonight when my brain expires,...now that I am old and boring I can't work on intelligent tasks late into the night. so, colin went to see the movie by himself, and I'm here with my words and my random tasks...but at least I get to control the stereo and the telly. (the stereo is quiet and leonard cohen, the telly is off...at least, it's off right now,,...bwahhahahah!!! Full House reruns, here I come!!!). I bought a jump drive today too....or at least, my dad bought one for me.

I am a student teacher. I am a student teacher. what can I say? everyone says the same sort of things as far as tips...and they are all true. Its only been two days...after the first day I wept on the couch then passed out for an hour....today felt much better, I had some kind of new found bravery....adn I am exited to wear all my lovely outfits. my dull lifeless teacher wear.
I haven't actually taught any classes yet, thats next week...there's a lot of beuocracy and a lot of checks and balances, and a whole lot of feeling like evertyone is sttaring you down and analysing your every ttiny gesture. there's no room for personalities there. you have to take your personality and teach it to behave just like you'd teacha a student how to act.

picture....where are you

Ah, rain. I am so glad it's fall. I love fall. I love layering clothes, I love being inside when it's raining out and I also love being outside in the rain, under my own terms of course, like, " it's raining so hard, I think i'll go for a walk in my boots and rain coat". I think it's being raised in vancouver, where it tends to rain from october to april. It occured to me the other day, summer is essentially only 2 months long, well, june too....but summer is really short, it's like we have four seasons here, but fall kind of stretches into winter which is exactly like fall only colder on adverage, and then spring is like fall again but warming, so there's the damp season, then there's hot for two months, then it dampens again into damp. two seasons, the rising and falling damp, and then hot. I worry about the global warming affecting our dampness. I feel like I can't think straight if it's not raining. during the two weeks of sun I get really sketchy, I feel claustraphobic. like the sky is bearing down on me. then it rains again and I'm all activated like a sea monkey. PLus, during the season of damp, the fashion options are so extensive....in the summer there's only shorts or skirt, or horrible "sun dress" *shuddder* when my family went to europe a couple years ago during the heat wave, my aunts brought me sundresses from their collections, and from the thrift stores, and I was mortified by the shapeless cuts, the busy "tropical prints" the semi-fetishistic "african batik" patterns. The gunny sack shifts hung on me like circus tents. I cut some into drawstring a-line skirts, which were really good to wear in the 40 degrees, but no thanks on the sundress. I mean, you can make a cool sundress somehow, I think. ....I wore skirts and t-shirts every day pretty much. now in winter you can pile on the accsessory sweaters. my professor for Bed is asking us to dress up in different ways each day, because he's thinking of doing his dissertation on the messages in clothes. Tommorow we are supposed to dress how we think a teacher dreessses...I'm so amused by this...I'm going to dress like a stereotypical school marm I think...I keep joking to my friends that that's how I am going to dress when I am a teacher. .....hmmm.... I just noticed colin rearranged the book shelves...very nice.

hedwig and billy are just the cutest little critty crits I did ever did see....even when their rolling in their own urine and such.
Skoogie is fun and my classmates rule. other than that I have no other news whatsoever unless it is school related...although I did go to a fun partayy at the underwear farm. Brad and the lads moved to main and hastings. there were so many needles on the ground that I had to laugh. it was like a hideous cartoon.

just to let you know I am not dead...just ensconsed. i am busily becoming tommorows hope for the future....ie a high school zombie, I mean, teacher

in other news, I dislike all my clothes

I know the wedding is long gone, I just want to show everyone this picture. It's me riding in the trunk of Leslie's SUV, babysitting her wedding cake, made lovingly by her sister and maid-of-honour. aww...isn't it nice, whith the pink and the hayacinth flowers on top? aww...

this is the image I would get framed if it was my wedding.....or put on my thankyou cards....of wich, for the amount I have already gotten from leslie, for various things, plus invitations for various things, I would assume there is a lot of card-making that needs to be done to be a bride. not that I am goning to be a bride any time soon.

school takes up too much time. In fact, at the orientation, the dean essentially told us not to bother planning any personal events, such as childbirth, he said, "uh, don't get pregnant, whatever you do...if you're already pregnant, well, you should drop out". he said it humerously, but really, he was serious. it's nothing I haven't already experienced, the workload that its....it's a whole lot of reading, but the readings are written in english, not artspeak. for those of you that don't know what artspeak is, it's a pretentious jargon-laden way of writing down vauge, theoretical, ego-stroking notions that you have to read 6 times with a dictionary beside you, before you can move on to the next sentence. you also have to know everything about philosophy and psycology before you go to art school...and history, and feminisim. I aboslutely abhored doing readings in art school....even on subjects that I was interested in, that stupid Clement Greenberg and his repugnant cronies ruined every academic class for me. obviously the art critique scenesters aren't socialists. education and knowledge are not available to the masses. they seem to only want the ultra-elite intellecual snob to read their writing, which one of my teachers admitted was true. I consider myself to be a well read, intelligent person, but it's a blow to your ego when you realise that there's something seriously mediocher about you. ehrn your teacher looks at you like you are Cleatis the Slack-Jawed Yokel. I blame it on my ADD distracting me every ten minutes from a repetive task (like reading something dry). My personal opinion on artspeak is that it was invented by art critics as a way to make modern art sound usefull and elite, to make it a cartesian, cerebral persuit so the po' people would think that is was something special they were giving their tax money to, when art isn't really providing them whith any service exept something for the priviged and educated to talk about. NOW don't get me wrong. I like talking about art or, I wouldn't be here at all. poor people like art too, and the culturally elite, can keep on writing art theory papers, but I don't want to read them, I don't want to have to talk about my psycologically adolecent artwork using art speak. people that like to read the stuff, I have no problem with them either. I'm just ranting. an I think I might be partially socialist. maybe that's what lead me to become a teacher. You know what? all the kids in my group at school, they feel the same way about clement greenberg. think about that. they want to bring art to cleatis.

when I teach high school art, I am going to make sure my students have a basic understanding of art history before they graduate, because I sure didn't. and I won't make them read art theory unless they want to or are interested in going on to art school. I suppose I should touch on philosophy too. you can explain basic theorys about these things to any kid, and they can go through life knowing that freud said such and such and Descart said this other thing, maybe we'll read those Kant for Dummies, A beginners guide to Marx, and not feel like cleatis the slack-jawed yokel. then, if they want to, they can read the real thing. and I'll be proud.

I'm watching Norma Rae...staring sally Feild.....She is so hot. that's all I have to say about that. I love sally Feild.
So today was my first day of UBC faculty of education. First in the morning I felt literally like it was the holocost, troops of bedraggled, terrified looking young kids all walking in straggly lines to cram onto a stinky bus like cattle then file into an institutional building. but all was well in the end and I made my bag lunch two days in a row now

do these posts not have titles? or am I just not used to the infinity of this technological wonderment? Its a little bit of both. I have passed the buck on my wedding dress and therefore get to "chill" in my "crib" until seven when I have to go back to work and sling bagels and melty cheese to drunk jocks and sensitive lads until 3 am again. I thought I had innumberable stuffs to accomplish before my life is over aka going back to school. at least colin had the day off and we got stuff somewhat accomplished. last time he had a day off we almost "agreed to see other people"...eeh...don't want to talk about it. this time was good, we ate brecky then bought 150 bucks worth of "wenge" (sp) wood for my bro-bro's weddin' gift, a large chest to keep hopes and dreams in, made of ......holy fuck! it's like the cats can tell when I'm egnoring them...they keep climing up onto the expensive toys shelf. now they are obsessed with playing with the expensive frank kozik "smorkin' labbit" figures. disaster. so, yeah, baltic birch, the hot fashinable wood lately, and this Wengeh or however you spell it, rainforests must die for our italian catholic wedding. well, if it was a real italian wedding the gifts would only be money. I could make it match the cat with the bite out of it that I made for leslie's potholder shower gift. I'm still sick of this whole wedding. Paul's bachelor was last night, I went to the Aquarium with him and leslie and our cousin Sabrina, that afternoon. the aquarium was amazing, and I must again and again go. it beats a bachelorette any day...unless it was my bachelorette. oh wel. kittys on keyboards are bad. I wonder if anyone is reading this? so far this is one seriously lame blog.

So the hounds of kitsalano are howling away....I think it's the big gangsta dogs belonging to the old rockabilly couple that lives next door. what the heck are they doing to these dogs? speaking of noisy hounds, I survived my first fireworks night living in kitsalano. If you aren't from vancouver, every summer there's huge fireworks displays over the harbour twice a week for about a month...and every lowest common denominator date-raper from aldergrove comes in to make trouble in huge crowds, plus, pretty much everyone else goes. so it's generally a rampaging horde on the downtown beaches, and over here in the west side, a slightly less noxious crowd. fortunatly for me I had to work. Colin skipped town and went to cambie street to hang out with Brad, Mishka and the Cap'n. around 1200 after everyone had dissipated Colin and I went home, expecting the cro magnon guy that lives left of us to be blasting cypress hill and Faith no More on his stereo with all the windows and doors wide open, as usual, but the place was silent and black as my soul. actually, Dude ain't so bad. he's friends with the crazy old chinese lady that scrounges our bottles and cans...and his taste in music could be worse. I like faith no more...just not at 2 am.
Another neighbor of mine, blackie the cat from downstairs, came to our door as usual, and out of curiosity, I opened it just far enough so that Rosie/Casey could look at Blackie and exchange plesantries, but Blackie couldn't get it. rosie was all, "hey, man, what's up?" and blackie swiped at her with her paw. She was like, "this is my turf, you little slut!" this is perfectly normal. Colin was making a big deal about blackie pooing on our stairs yesterday, and I said, "come on, it's not like she was deliberatly trying to smote us,,.....oh, wait, she IS trying to do that," but technically I brought it upon us. she has every right to be pissed, and show her displesure in that catty way. with POo.