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Sunday, January 01, 2006


Blah blah blah
so here's how I feel at the start of the new year.
Firstly, I don't feel like a good writer anymore. I was a good writer in elementry school, and maybe high school...I like to pretend I'm a good writer, but lately I think I'm just another rambling young adult. I think the coming of age of blogs ruint it for me. I mean, now you can compare yourself linguistically to anyone online with half a mind to jot some thoughts, and now I feel like half the stuff I read is so much more insightful, witty, literate and enetertaing than the brain vomit I type out, that I can't write anything anymore. Maybe it's school wreaking art for me too. School always wreaks my creativity. Yeah, there's a good excuse to take any responsibilty for my laziness away from myself. Who cares if anyone reads this anyway? This isn't supposed to be a flipping editorial.
Speaking of Creativity and laziness, I could be doing so many things with my days that I am not. WHy? because of.....apathy? I cancelled my cable. WHOOOoo HOOO ME!!! Win one for the Proletariat, carina. So far the lack of cable has helped a bit. it's only been a month or so, but Colin and I have seen our stocks go up a few points. He lost some points with me for being such a sucky killjoy at christmas. Don;t force your boyfriends to go to big family parties with your boisterous relatives when you know 100% that they are shy and introverted and dislike large groups of people, not to mention that they don;t like christmas for various reasons of their own. I noticed when we were just with my folks, colin was fine, then it would get closer to the extended family stuff and his mood would just chrash like some raver coming off E. NExt year, he can do whatever he wants. I can have a perfectly cromulent christmas dinner without him, as hard as that may be for others to beleive. We see eachother every single day anyway. I think he realised that he put a damper on my christmas because he's been exaggeratedly nice to me directly following.
Speaking of christmas, COlin's mum gave me a Belle and Sebastian DVD for a present. She has the best taste in gift giving, I swear. She always sends us socks, and something pink for me to wear, and they are always cool. I watched the DVD twice already. Oh my Freaking God, they are so bloody good, even if all their songs are sort of the same. that's the point. They are just...they're so cute and dorky and sensitive, every kid at art school loved them and their art schooly ways. I'lll never forget the very first time I heard them, not counting first year university english when we had to recite a poem to the class and this girl, claire schagerl(sp) who is the definition of arty geek chic, got us to recite me and the major from If You're Feeling Sinister. I didn't know them then. I just remmeber feeling really excluded from the group we were working in. mmmmrrr. I was like a hanger-on that had to be included, and I felt like they were being patronizing with me or soemthing. WHaterver. I digress. Amanda CHurch my dear distant friend, she played Boy With the Arab strap at work one afternoon, and I was instantly enchanted, with these words about a girl who was painting lines in a school that was too well know, and everyone ran her out of town cas she drank and swore and spoke out of turn, she was the village joke. Her paintings are a sham, and their going for a grand, when the dealers come to view will they ever see the real you?
Oh my god I love them. I Cried when they played at the commodore 4 years ago. I took colin there on a date. he'd never heard of them before but he loved it too. He even said he would sleep with the male lead singer, stuart murdoch. THat's funny since he says in the Liner notes for Catastrophe Waitress that men always hit on him, and why do women never? I always feel like sensitive talented well dressed artsy boys always have a girlfirend. why are Emo lads always skinny as a rail and girls are either chunked or ectomorphic? there are no tubby emo guys. Except for colin, I think he's the only one. maybe that's what drew me to him, since he's so unique. aww I forgive you.

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